Week 11: Complications

Whenever anyone asks me I’m always gushing about how much fun I’m having and how good this trip is. It’s easy to talk about the good things, the people you meet, the things that you do. It’s easy to tell people how much you are enjoying something. It’s easy to make it sound like everything is easy. It’s what you are supposed to say. But what about the times when things get to you and when your body is rebelling and you want it to just stop?

Traveling with diabetes has its own fun. Firstly there is the logistics of traveling with meds. Insulin has to be kept cold, I don’t need very much, one of the good things about having funky diabetes, but I’m still trying to keep several vials cold in the central europian summer. Insulin aside there is my Dexcom (blood sugar meter). I honestly wouldn’t do without it. Having information at my fingertips has made the hiking and complete lack of routine much easier.

But it’s still not easy. I can’t eat the ‘normal’ traveler foods. Bread, pasta, rice, etc are off the menu in the evenings and low carb can be hard to find. Blood sugars also react to heat, stress, activity, sleep, timings of when you eat, water quantity and pretty much everything else you can think of, making it super easy to maintain good control whilst living with no routine at all.

The thing I have found hardest is hiking. In Lofoten I had a few times when my sugars got really low on the hill, it took me a while to figure out that I needed to not take any long-acting insulin for the day when I’m going to be walking. In fact, often I won’t take any insulin at all until I get back from the walk. I wish there where hard and fast rules I could hold on to but often what works one week can cause me to go really high the next.

I try not to get annoyed by it all but sometimes it feels like a disruption I would rather live without. It also means I’m a bit wary about going out with other people, I don’t want to hold then up with my blood sugars getting low. For the most part, it’s been manageable but I felt like I’m fighting a losing battle some days when I go out.

Then there is the fun on the Chronic Fatigue. If I’m honest I’ve been really pleased with how my body has reacted to everything, As long as I sleep well at night very little has been too much. I have been getting tired, but often a quiet day has been all I’ve needed to recover. But it can be hard to have that quiet day, there is so much to do and so much to see that not going out is hard. And so by the 20th of july, I had pretty much run myself into the ground and needed to stop for a while.

Through necessity I booked myself an Airbnb in Vienna a crashed for a few days. I didn’t go out that much and In slept a lot. And after 5 nights I did feel much better.

I knew I was likely to need to take a bit of time out, 5 months is a long time and for the most part, I have simply been rejoicing in being able to be out in the world doing these things, but sometimes it’s hard.

I want to be able to eat normally and not having to think so far ahead with my insulin and food. And I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don’t have to take so much care with sleep and rest? It can be hard to accept to myself that despite everything I can’t quite travel the way I want to, but every time that thought come up I remind myself that a couple of years ago all this would have been impossible.

Sure there are complications, but I would rather live with them than not try at all.

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With love,

The girl with the braid in her hair xxx

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